Chuck Norris does not sleep

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Chuck Norris could shoot

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball. Chuck Norris once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower. In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. But then he turns around and kicks their ass.

In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a floatation device. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back. During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims. Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down Chuck Norris can split the atom. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher. He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.

They serve nothing

They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets. Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit. Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. Chuck Norris eats black holes. Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

The truth will set you free. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.